goononyourhead

goononyourhead @ 2009-06-16T20:59:00

2009-06-16T13:03:15Z

i realised finally that i'm over you...i'm too good for you...no guy would love a girl for so long and not get any back in return...i was stupid....and i'm sure i can find someone better...even though we had so much in common but i realised that now i wouldn't even date a girl like you....i have no regrets about what i did...i learnt many things that is helping me or would help me....so yea, its just too bad.

and my army posting is coming out this friday...its like waiting for exam results...just that this will affect me for the next 2 years...

till next time...hopefully i wont have such an emotional entry again

goononyourhead @ 2009-06-11T23:45:00

2009-06-11T15:52:09Z

i swear i saw you, on the corner of the street
holding hands with a stranger i didn't meet
now how bout this he gave a peck on your cheek
but for once i didn't realise

he told you stories of places and lies
and you'd believe those stories if you'd try
you turned around and saw me with your eyes
someone at the corner of the street

chorus
cos its not about what you got or how you seem
but its all about whats hidden in your dreams
come take your hand and hold it with me
let's pray that forever will be with me

i could see the glimpse in your eye
something reminded you of someone late at night
the way you shook his hand from yours
don't think about it this way, i know he'll never be seen again

bridge
and i could see you wanted to be
back here in the corner of the street
but i'm gone around the corner you'd better run
cos i'm running away from something i had done

goononyourhead @ 2009-06-10T09:39:00

2009-06-10T01:40:46Z

i realised during army i toned down alot on my craziness to stay out of trouble..hahaha....and thats a good thing cos i didnt get into trouble or whatever and i could go back at the normal timings and not stay on for extra...

on a happy note, POP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ultra long holiday..hahahahahaha..wooooooooohooooooooooooo

goononyourhead @ 2009-05-30T22:17:00

2009-05-30T14:20:43Z

i've come to realise that i've been depressed all this while and i'm only using army as a distraction...i've been depressed about almost every aspect in my life cept for myself...but actually all these problems were caused by me...but the depression has finally taken its toll on me...its hard to even smile nowadays...most of the time i'm forcing myself to smile so that no one will notice i'm depressed...i'm going to come out of this stage and i'll need any help i can get...

on a brighter note, 12 day holiday coming soon for me...meeting up with alot of people that i havent seen in a really really long time..

and i dont know where my heart is right now....

goononyourhead @ 2009-05-02T22:46:00

2009-05-02T15:05:31Z

The shades gone up
Mothers staring down
She don't know where he's been
Or how long he's been out

She said 'Boy i'm tired of waiting up while your out with your friends'
He said 'Mom im TRYING and im living my life the best way that I can'

Cause i'm trying to be somebody
I'm not trying to be somebody else
This life is mine i'm living
Don't you know me? I wont ever let you down

The day has come
The SON is moving on
She don't know where he'll go
Or when he's coming home

She said 'Son take care, don't let your dreams get too far out of sight'
He said 'I love you now, don't worry about me you know i'll be fine'

Cause i'm trying to be somebody
I'm not trying to be somebody else
This life is mine i'm living
Don't you know me? I wont ever let you down
No
I'm not trying to be somebody else
Don't you know me? I wont ever let you
I wont ever let you

What they say
What they know
What they think wont ever bring me down
This life is mine and I am my own

I'm trying to be somebody
I'm not trying to be somebody else
This life is mine I lead
Don't you know me?

I'm trying to be somebody
I'm not trying to be somebody else
This life is mine i'm living
Don't you know me? I wont ever let you down
NOOOOO
I'm not trying to be somebody else
Don't you know me? I wont ever let you down
I wont be nobody else
This life is mine and i am my own

the song's be somebody by 3 doors down

i realised that i've not had any real major achievements in my life yet....i've not excelled in my studies or sports...not anything else....and just another random thought i was having...like i ended my teenhood in the worst possible way....shan't go into details cos its long over but those memories will remain for quite some time...anyhow, i'm so out of touch with the rest of the world....i miss my friends....but this weekend is for me to recover from field camp...i lost ALOT of weight such that i'm back to the size i was in poly...but the bright side is that my belly has been replaced by abs :) ... and song writing has been put on hold cos my guitar is in camp and most of the time i dont feel like writing songs in camp...oh yea, and on a brighter note, i just have 1 more month in tekong and then i'll be out....9th june here i come!!! hopefully i get an 8 to 5 job or worse come to worse sispec...

and it really feels weird not having any feelings for anyone right now.....i've become like this feeling-less person...i cant feel for anyone, i cant relate to anyone....i have no idea what is happening to me...its like i pull back from interacting with friends....and even when i do i dont talk much...its as though all that has happened has scarred me real real bad...and the thing is i don't have a close friend right now to pour my emotions out....everyone is just a friend....its like i'm not letting in anyone into my deep emotions....like everything is just building up inside...i don't know what to do with myself.

someday i'll show you what i can do...but by then i may have forgotten you.

til next time,

goononyourhead @ 2009-04-10T23:15:00

2009-04-10T15:17:34Z

i swear i'm gonna be sooo shagged come monday.....

tmr playing soccer in the morning then at night going to a party with amabel...but i'm not sure whether i want to go or not cos its like damn bastard her boyfriend isn't going and i'm her ex.....
and then i'm like deciding whether to get a psp or a ds cos seriously its damn boring in camp....during free time that is

good thing is i have my pay already :D

goononyourhead @ 2009-04-10T10:54:00

2009-04-10T03:17:03Z

my last post was a month ago...and i'm back...lucky for me army has been quite alright....its the social life that i've been missing..

anyway, just a random thought, the difference between a jc kid and a poly kid is damn bloody obvious...i dont know how to describe but when you see a jc kid you'll know its a jc kid and same for poly.

and its the weekend!!! 3 day weekend...then have to book back in again

but yea, i wanted to blog about something else but i cant remember what it is right now...so til next time, see ya

goononyourhead @ 2009-03-11T00:38:00

2009-03-10T16:49:07Z

alright, i think this is like my last entry for the next 2 weeks plus...gonna start a new chapter in my life....i have this feeling of dread and fear...my social life is gonna die alot and i'll miss my friends and all..
the army is calling...marchtwelve....its actually a name of a local band and i didnt expect it to be my enlistment date but ohwells...thats tmr considering the fact its already 11th march
i guess in the army i'll make new friends but i'm just worried they'll be like typical despo horny army guys who cant stop talking about girls and who have no experience whatsoever PLUS they're all gonna be jc kids so they'll be like this and that and i won't be able to relate to them...but ohwell, i'll just be myself and if they want to talk about girls then bring it on!...muahahhaa
anyway i'll just have to enjoy myself the rest of my free time...but its the stuff that i'll miss when i'm in army like live n' loaded like that episode all my friends are performing...cardinal avenue, firefight, paul...i'll miss all that and meeting up with my bros and other stuffs....but one thing i wont miss is the problems i had with girls...
oh yea, and speaking of paul, he said something which made me think alot...he said i'm easy to please....but i can take that in a good way cos like he meant it in a good way...like i'm fine living a life which is like bare minimum but able to survive...i dont need extravagent stuff and such...which i think is a good thing...
but ohwells, after army i'm gonna get my own apartment and i'll try to persuade my parents to get me a car....damn excited...and thats one thing i can look forward to...
so yea, i guess i'll just have to enjoy my last remaining 30 hours or so....seriously i'll miss all my bros and friends and besties and everyone else that matters to me

see ya soon

goononyourhead @ 2009-03-04T11:28:00

2009-03-04T03:31:52Z

i just wrote a new song but yet to record cos i'm still doing up the chorus....but heres the lyrics anyway...its called for what is worth waiting for...title inspired by ashyraf

horses running through my brain
contemplating what to say
joking, laughing, fight all day
just to get to you

next to me the lion sleeps
holding on to the thing it keeps
pleading to the breathing tree
just to get to you

chorus
when you think of me
beware the monster that you see
i've waited for
what is worth waiting for

super powers they can't harm
little children on the farm
jump into a burning fire
just to get to you

chorus
when you think of me
beware the monster that you see
i've waited for
what is worth waiting for

you cant hide the troubled fact
tarzan and jane did have sex
twenty years have passed so far
what is worth waiting for

and this songs called numbers....its just a random song that i felt like writing one day...you can find the song on my myspace

if i could, change the world with my hands
if i should, tell you all that i am
forgetting this, ain't as easy my friend
take a look, things might just go as plan

take on me
could this be

woah oh oh...this songs about 1,2,3
ahhh ah ah...the way you're looking at me
come on in...and learn your a,b,c
hard to please...so you turn to me

look at me, whats happened to you
shes got me, we make something so new
forgive me, what i did to you
cos i, hate how much i love you

take on me
could this be

woah oh oh...this songs about 1,2,3
ahhh ah ah...the way you're looking at me
come on in...and learn your a,b,c
hard to please...so you turn to me

you turn to me

and this is footprints on the sand...its an emo song

looking back at the memories you left behind
when will we ever pick them up and turn back time

walking through the pages of our past
i know those memories i knew, won't last

don't leave your footprints on the sand
cos they remind me of you, dear friend
help me go the way, the way out of my heart
its over now, don't play a part

leave the good times and bad in there
leave the crazy times you know, i care
cos i always knew we've had our dues
bless the day i'm over you

goononyourhead @ 2009-02-27T23:22:00

2009-02-27T15:29:19Z

i'm feeling really emo and confused right now......

i seriously dont know what to do...i wouldnt have fallen for you had i known how much pain i would experience...

and now its like i have nothing at all to look forward to....army is looming in about 13 days and i'm on the verge of a breakdown....i just dont know how much longer i can stand this pain...i dont think i've ever felt this before

why.

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

[Chorus:]
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

[Chorus]

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

i hate this feeling i have...i want to get you out of my life...i want to get over you...i guess maybe this is what i get for my flirting in the past

goononyourhead @ 2009-02-23T22:27:00

2009-02-23T14:51:48Z

ok, i'm gonna make a public apology to this group of people whom i'm not friends with anymore.

you guys made me realise that i had some issues that you were not happy with and that i had to deal with. So i have dealt with them and now i'm a much better person...sorry about letting you go as friends but no, i'm not here to plead or beg or whatever to become friends with you again. i've become a much better person, gotten even better friends and my life is back on course...you guys left me to die on my own and i didn't and i'll remember that...you left me all alone with no one to turn to and i'll remember that too...but i'm sorry you guys had to diss me as a friend, we've been in many different situations together before but now that's all in the past...i'm not looking for revenge or whatever, i'm not going to stoop so low...i don't care if you steal my old friends because i've gotten new ones...and i treat them like my brothers...just like i had treated you guys...so,

sorry selwyn, chin woo, yvonne and sandra...we've all had our good times together and the bad time...it affected me alot but it also made me realise what i can be...my full potential...i'd have rather you guys come and tell me straight up...and sandra, i'm sorry the misunderstanding brought the downfall...i know you weren't part of them but whats done is done and no one can turn back the clock. and the rest of you, i treated you guys like my brothers...i was there for you when you were in need...i've paid back what i've owed and now we don't owe each other anything so let's leave it at that....and i've probably killed my whole social life in ngee ann but what the heck...i'm not there anymore

ANYWAY, on a much brighter note,

erotic party at sentosa!!!! 3rd and 4th march...i can't wait..at least theres something to look forward to before army comes up but i wish i can pass my napfa so that it'll be pushed back a month and there'll be so many more things i can do

after this week my life is gonna be sooooooooooooo hectic meeting up with people....but i need it before army kills my social life

and i'm supposed to record this song for venessa so that i can play at her sister's cafe but it's in chinese....how how how

and i want to watch CA play at live n loaded but its on the 24th of march...if i went there'll surely be tickets but stupid army is gonna kill my social life and i just had to say it again

and somehow or another pressure by paramore is playing in my head....hayley williams is a damn good singer

til next time ppl

goononyourhead @ 2009-02-22T13:46:00

2009-02-22T05:47:00Z

i've decided to come back to this blog and start posting here again

i'm not affected by the past anymore so yups :D

goononyourhead @ 2008-07-31T18:40:00

2008-07-31T10:40:35Z

i'm closing this blog...new life needed..this blog has too many memories

goononyourhead @ 2008-07-31T15:15:00

2008-07-31T07:16:34Z

i'm wiping my hands off everything...i dont even want to be there for you anymore...you've screwed up my life just too much

goononyourhead @ 2008-07-31T13:12:00

2008-07-31T05:12:32Z

what the fuck

goononyourhead @ 2008-07-30T22:26:00

2008-07-30T14:39:49Z

i cant believe what you have become...someone so....emotionless...who doesnt care what others think....

you can go flirt around all you want...i wont care anymore...i've given up any love left of you...you really disappointed me...you really took a huge toll on my emotions...all you wanted all this while was for me to be there for you...nothing more nothing less...

i thought i knew you for who you were, i guess i was wrong...those months of knowing each other have all gone down the drain because i dont know you AT ALL...

i really want you to forget that i existed...forget everything i did for you...this is my last request to you...because in my mind, i regretted spending so much time on you...it was not worth it at all....you were barely there for me....just because you had me then doesnt mean you'll have me forever...its too late to apologise...too late to do anything....just continue leading your screwed up life...'today is the last day i smoke'....YA RIGHT....'i'm not going to get another boyfriend in poly'...YA RIGHT....you know, i learnt NOT to believe your words...because all YOUR PROMISES ARE EMPTY....they dont weigh anything to you eh?....no wonder so many people hate you...in poly, secondary school...its because of what you've done....now i finally see...

and now i'll just laugh at you when you screw up your life...i'll be like dean...someone who will hate you to the core...thats what you wanted right? i'll laugh at all the stupid things you do without any remorse...because you've turned into a figure of hate to me....this time, you cant just simply apologise....you cant simply send me an email begging me to be there for you again....it'll be very hard...much much harder.

so good luck to you....the pact we made to not lose our virginity til marriage....i think i'll win BECAUSE...you dont mean what you say or promise....i really wonder how you'll find a settled family next time...because lust ISNT going to get you ANYWHERE...love is....and i'm sure you've learnt (maybe not) that two people who love each other for who they are is damn hard to come by....

happy living your life, i'll have fun laughing.

and today is the last day i'm going to emo over this girl...ok, maybe tomorrow as well....but this emo-ing has got to end because its really not worth it

goononyourhead @ 2008-07-27T11:24:00

2008-07-27T03:26:07Z

but this song is even better

I’m stuck with writing songs
Just to forget
What they really were about
And these words are bringing me so deeply insane
That I don’t think I can take my way out

I couldn’t breathe through it
Like I need to and the words don’t mean a thing

So I’ll sing this song to you
For the last time
And my heart is torn in two
Thinking of days spent without you
And there is nothing left to prove

I’m counting all the things I could have done
To make you see
That I wanted us to be what I go to sleep and dream of
I want you to know that I’d die for you
I’d die for you

I couldn’t breathe through it
Like I need to and the words don’t mean a thing

So I’ll sing this song to you
For the last time
And my heart is torn in two
Thinking of the days spent without you
And there’s nothing left to prove

And if you are alone
Make sure you’re not lonely
Cuz if you are, I blame myself
For never being home
I know I’m not the only one
Who will treat you like they should
What you deserve

I’m stuck with writing songs
Just to forget

So I’ll sing this song to you
For the last time
And my heart is torn in two
Thinking of the days spent without you
And there’s nothing left to prove

can't find the song on imeem..but its damn nice..

goononyourhead @ 2008-07-27T11:07:00

2008-07-27T03:10:23Z

Share with me the blankets that your wrapped in
Because its cold outside cold outside its cold outside
Share with me the secrets that you kept in
Because its cold inside cold inside its cold inside

And your slowly shaking finger tips
Show that your scared like me so
Let's pretend we're alone
And I know you may be scared
And I know we're unprepared
But I don't care

Tell me, tell me
What makes you think that you are invincible?
I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure
Please don't tell me that I'm the only one that's vulnerable
Impossible

I was born to tell you I love you
Isn't that a song already?
I get a B in originality
And it's true I can't go on without you
Your smile makes me see clear
If you could only see in the mirror what I see

And you're slowly shaking finger tips
Show that you're scared like me so
Let's pretend we're alone
And I know you may be scared
And I know we're unprepared
But I don't care

Tell me, tell me
What makes you think that you are invincible?
I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure
Please don't tell me that I'm the only one that's vulnerable
Impossible

Slow down girl -- you're not going anywhere
Just wait around and see
Maybe I am much more you never know what lies ahead
I promise I can be anyone, I can be anything
Just because you were hurt doesn't mean you shouldn't bleed
I can be anyone, anything, I promise I can be what you need

Tell me tell me
What makes you think that you are invincible?
I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure
Please don't tell me that I'm the only one that's vulnerable
Impossible

this song is nice..haha

lifes been alright i guess...exams coming up soon..then after exams then time to start slacking

byebye
You were there for summer dreamin'
and i hope you'll find your freedom for eternity

goononyourhead @ 2008-07-14T15:09:00

2008-07-14T07:15:25Z

i've finally decided to let you go...

Oh I had a lot to say was thinking on my time away
I missed you and things weren't the same

[Pre-Chorus:]
Cause everything inside it never comes out right
And when I see you cry it makes me want to die

[Chorus:]
I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry I'm blue, I'm sorry about all things I said to you
And I know I can't take it back
I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds, and baby the way you make my world go round
And I just wanted to say I'm sorry:

This time I think I'm to blame it's harder to get through the days
You get older and blame turns to shame

[Pre-Chorus]

[Chorus]

Every single day I think about how we came all this way
The sleepless nights and the tears you cried it's never too late to make it right
Oh yeah sorry!

[Chorus]

i'm sorry i was ever friends with you

and now, finally, i've grown tired of you and i will never regret my decision...everyone's been asking me why after getting to know you i still like you...i couldnt tell them the answer.....and i still can't.....

and you dont need me....there will always be another lulu out there....who will be like me or better than me....

but you wanted this so there you go....your choice, the outcome is yours.

i bid you farewell and goodluck next time.

goononyourhead @ 2008-07-12T10:50:00

2008-07-12T02:53:26Z

Many nights we've prayed
With no proof anyone could hear
In our hearts a hopeful song
We barely understood

Now we are not afraid
Although we know there's much to fear
We were moving mountains long
Before we knew we could

There can be miracles, when you believe
Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles you can achieve
When you believe, somehow you will
You will when you believe

In this time of fear
When prayers so often prove in vain
Hope seems like the summer birds
To swiftly flown away

Yet now I'm standing here
My heart's so full I can't explain
Seeking faith and speaking words
I never thought I'd say

There can be miracles, when you believe
Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles you can achieve
When you believe, somehow you will
You will when you believe

They don't always happen when you ask
(Oh)
And it's easy to give in to your fears
(Oh...Ohhhh)
But when you're blinded by your pain
Can't see your way straight throught the rain
Small but still, resilient voice
Says love is the relief
(Ohhh)

There can be miracles
(Miracles)
When you believe
(Lord, when you believe)
Though hope is frail
(Though hope is frail)
It's hard to kill
(Hard to kill, Ohhh)
Who knows what miracles,you can achieve
When you believe, somehow you will(somehow,somehow, somehow)
somehow you will
You will when you believe

You will when you
You will when you believe
Just believe...in your heart
Just believe
You will when you believeeeeeeeeeee

to all smokers out there

2008-07-05T12:18:47Z

smoking really sucks....i started because i was emo...now i'm hooked onto it....i have to start a day with a stick if not i'll feel lethargic for the rest of the day....quitting is also almost impossible because i'll start to have breathing problems

to everyone who hasnt smoked, dont start...you wont get hooked onto the first puff or stick cos it'll taste like shit...but after awhile you'll think 'hey, i've smoked before, why dont i do it again' and then 1 pack a month will become 1 pack a week, then 1 pack a week will soon become 1 pack a day...and seriously, it takes up alot of money from your pocket, especially mine

smoking will affect your health, your skin, almost everything....

so please, non-smokers, don't ever start

goononyourhead @ 2008-07-05T10:15:00

2008-07-05T02:16:20Z

i wish you would sing this song to me

Just have a little patience
I'm still hurting from a love I lost
I'm feeling your frustration
Any minute all the pain will stop.

Just hold me close inside your arms tonight
Don't be too hard on my emotions.

[Chorus:]
'Cause I
Need time
My heart is numb, has no feeling
So while I'm still healing
Just try and have a little patience.

I really wanna start over again
I know you wanna be my salvation
The one that I can always depend.

I'll try to be strong
Believe me I'm trying to move on
It's complicated but understand me.

[Chorus]

'Cause the scars run so deep
It's been hard but I have to believe
Just have a little patience [x2]

[Chorus]

Have a little patience
My heart is numb, has no feeling
So while I’m still healing
Just try and have a little patience

goononyourhead @ 2008-07-05T10:10:00

2008-07-05T02:11:56Z

i just realised this blog is a damn depressing blog....but its one of the places where i can pen all my thoughts down...so sorry to everyone who reads my blog even though i think there are like only a handful who do..haha

alrights, back to being depressing

goononyourhead @ 2008-07-05T10:07:00

2008-07-05T02:08:14Z

i'll hold on no matter what

goononyourhead @ 2008-07-03T20:02:00

2008-07-03T12:03:45Z

If I give up on you I give up on me
If we fight what's true, will we ever be
Even God himself and the faith I knew
Shouldn't hold me back, shouldn't keep me from you

Chorus:
Tease me, by holding out your hand
Then leave me, or take me as I am
And live our lives, stigmatized

I can feel the blood rushing though my veins
When I hear your voice, driving me insane
Hour after hour day after day
Every lonely night that I sit and pray

Chorus

We live our lives on different sides,
But we keep together you and I
Just live our lives, stigmatized

We'll live our lives, We'll take the punches everyday
We'll live our lives I know we're gonna find our way

I believe in you
Even if no one understands
I Believe in you, and I don't really give a damn
stigmatized
We live our lives on different sides
But we keep together you and I
We live our lives on different sides

We're gonna live our lives
Gotta live our lives
We're gonna live our lives
We're gonna live our lives, Gonna live our lives, Stigmatized